So as you can tell from my last post title last week wasn't such of a hot week for me. I was sick with a horrible head cold that had me in bed with a 102 fever for most of the week along with no appetite. I was one cranky lady. Then Friday morning I woke up and was actually feeling better. Yay to that, but my mood was still glum. I'm not sure what came over me, but for these last couple of days I feel like a little black cloud has been over my head. Losing my job was quite a shock. I mean I hated it and now I have time to pursue my dreams, but it's still a very scary feeling. I mean money is a concern, but my main concern is just feeling like I'm not contributing. I've been feeling without purpose, which is a horrible feeling. Plus due to my horrible cold I had been home bound all week and that was taking it's toll. My husband goes into work at 9 am and doesn't get in until 8pm so that's a lot of alone time with me and the pups. Then to top things off Jon had to go into work on Saturday morning. At first I was fine and just started cleaning up and showering etc, but then as I was doing my hair the dogs started fighting yet again and something in me snapped. I grabbed my coat, ran out the door, drove to my parents house and burst into tears the second my mom saw me. Ah poor mom didn't know what was coming. I swear everything just came spilling out of me.
Leaving your job when it's not on your terms is difficult to say the least. You feel like such a loser. It really messes with one's self-esteem. Then yay the excitement of starting my own business, but with that comes huge amounts of Doubt. What if I'm kidding myself? What if people are just humoring me? What if I don't get any clients? Ah talk about stress. Then top that off with not really eating all week and having complete creativity block.
I was not a happy camper. I sat there in my parents kitchen with my mom and sister and just tried to piece together my life. Mom's are always great with reassuring you that things will be okay. I realized that yes what happens stinks, but it's going to be a blessing. I'm going to be okay. I need to find something to do a couple of times a week to just get me out of the house. I'm going to start going to the local library and get some work done there just to get out of the house.
The rest of the weekend was a little better. I was still a bit blue, but I was just trying to go through the motions and act happy in the hopes that I would eventually feel happy. This morning I was still sad especially to be left at home and snowed in while my hubby went to work. I swear I had been staring at my laptop since 9 am trying to find inspiration for a post today. I was drawing blanks and totally sinking deeper into my case of the blues. I didn't want to do another post that had to do with why I was yet again still cranky, but I finally realized that I just needed to get this all off my chest and just let you all know where my head has been these last couple of days. You are all always so full of cheer and helpful thoughts I knew it would make me feel better.
So there it is world. Off goes the angry girl music and this lovely pout that I've been sporting since last week. In goes only happy thoughts and keeping myself busy with loads of activities.
Ah I am actually starting to feel better just letting it all out.
Since I was trying to cheer myself up this morning I took my camera out with so that the pups could have some fun and play during our snow day. Here are pictures from this morning:
I swear they were just having fun and not hurting each other.
I also swear my next post with be design oriented. Pinky promise you all!!!!